everything i know about life i learned while unemployed

1. dr. phil is on at 3, but it's never as good as the previews lead you to believe it will be.
2. ramen is cheapest at the rite-aid by worldwide plaza (5/$1!)
3. it's way easier than you think to sleep until 1:00.
4. apparently, no one else in new york has a job either.
5. you can't actually afford booze.
6. i guess that's it. my brain is pretty mushy by now.

but, as previously mentioned, i have landed myself a job. yeah, i fooled 'em into thinking that i have some sort of marketable skill. in keeping with my policy of not putting identifying information up here, i can't tell you what the job is or what the company is, but i will say this: i'm AWESOME.

but even AWESOMER than AWESOME is the TOTALLY WICKED SWEET job maggie has officially locked down as of today. if you see her, be sure to give her a congratulatory high-five/bum-squeeze.

yes, she's alive

got a job
spent a weekend back in the northcountry
saw scary movie 4
more information TK

transitional moment

on wednesday, i quit my job.

last night, i was called a psycho for the second time that i can remember.

it seems i've reached a point of decision, and i should probably change my ways. so, here goes. my promises to the world, with you fine people as my witnesses:

from now on, i vow to behave in a way that is generally... more sane. this includes, but may not be limited to:

1. drinking less
2. cutting back on embarrassing drunken text messaging
3. (with some overlap with #2) removing all exes from my cell phone directory
4. swearing less
5. no more lying for sport

man, sanity really takes the fun out of living.

and, what the hell, while i'm at it:

6. cutting back on dairy, meat, and refined carbs
7. being more diligent about my fitness routine
8. getting to bed at a reasonable hour

obviously, these rules aren't hard and fast. so, when you hear me lie to my mom on the phone about what time i got home last night, or let out a string of expletives when i stub my toe, no need to call me out on it. also, obviously, "dairy" does not include cheese.

happy pesach, tribespeople.

because this was sent to me by my mother, i have to assume it's been circulating on the internet for several years already and i somehow managed to miss it until now. anyway, i thought it was worth posting, and if i have to explain to you why it's funny, well then you just don't deserve to know. bitch. and yes, i know i'm up late. i quit my job today. a story in itself, i suppose. but not for here, not now. suffice it to say: wahoo!

i don't understand

why anyone gives a tiny rat's ass about this katie curtis or whoever switching networks. aside from finding her kind of irritating, i have no strong feelings about the woman or which multizillionaire is signing her paycheck. should i?

as far as i can tell, the only way this affects me is that it means i'll have to avoid a different channel in order to be spared her squawky voice (at least, i think she has a squawky voice - i don't know if i've ever actually heard her speak). that was always trial-and-error anyway.

an actual e-mail from my mother

From: Mom
To: David, Julie, Elizabeth
Date: Apr 2, 2006 9:30 AM
Subject: DST


Hey guys,

Don't forget to set the clocks forward an hour this morning.

Mom and Dad

it's times like this i really feel i get credit for being a functioning adult.