speaking of heartbreak...

he's back, and monologuing:

tool (9:49:45 PM): you deleted the wedding crashers quote [that i wrote on your facebook wall]!?
tool (9:50:47 PM): well, screw you and your little dog too!!

(wife goes invisible on instant messenger)

tool (9:50:58 PM): haha, I know that trick
tool (9:50:59 PM): peace out
tool (9:51:34 PM): blocking works much better, dude

wife blocks tool momentarily, then feels bad and unblocks him.

tool signed off at 9:52:18 PM.
tool (10:01:48 PM): you blocked me?!
tool (10:02:09 PM): again??!
tool (10:04:38 PM): seriously, though, do you have something against maple syrup?
tool (10:05:51 PM): di ni ni ni ni ni ni ni...[tool]man!!
tool (10:06:13 PM): I'm taking over the batman theme song, fyi
tool (10:06:31 PM): di ni ni ni ni ni ni ni...[tool]man!!
tool (10:06:52 PM): di ni ni ni ni ni ni ni...
tool (10:07:00 PM): [tool]man!!
tool (10:07:50 PM): you know
tool (10:07:51 PM): oops
tool (10:07:57 PM): you know...
tool (10:08:04 PM): you're way too patient for your own good
tool (10:08:15 PM): gives me a purpose for the rest of my attention span
tool (10:09:07 PM): Stinger: They gave you your choice of duty son, anything, anywhere. Do you believe that shit? Where do you think you wanna go?
tool (10:09:13 PM): Maverick: I thought of being an instructor, sir.
tool (10:09:19 PM): Stinger: Top Gun?
tool (10:09:25 PM): Maverick: Yes, sir.
tool (10:09:32 PM): Stinger: God help us.
tool (10:09:58 PM): Maverick: She's lost that loving feeling.
tool (10:10:04 PM): Goose: She's lo...
tool (10:10:13 PM): Goose: No she hasn't.
tool (10:10:19 PM): Maverick: Yes she has.
tool (10:10:25 PM): Goose: [objecting] She's not lost that lo...
tool (10:10:34 PM): Maverick: Goose, she's lost it man.
tool (10:10:50 PM): Goose: Come on!
tool (10:10:59 PM): Goose: Aw sh... I hate it when she does that.
tool (10:12:17 PM): di ni ni ni ni ni... Batman!
tool (10:12:25 PM): jk, it's [tool]man
tool (10:14:17 PM): me... me... meee.... pay attention to meeeeee

no epilogue necessary, this time, i think. seems it kind of writes itself.