this is your brain on stupid

i don't smoke pot. i will, however, be the first to admit that people who do are cool. my favorite people in the world are among the biggest potheads i know.

my point is that those asstarded anti-drug psa's are mind-bogglingly stupid. yesterday, i saw what i initially thought was a commercial for pot but it actually turned out to be some kind of mixed message about how marijuana gives you the superhuman ability to get your entire hand wrist-deep into your mouth. it kinda made me want to smoke up and try it.

there are much more convincing reasons not to smoke weed than the fact that it's uncool to succumb to peer pressure (come on – we all know it is very cool) and the possibility of being chased by a "lumberyard dog" (uhh - what decade is this? and what's a lumberyard?), and they are:

1) the munchies will make you fat.
2) there's a good chance you'll cough uncontrollably and look like an asshole in front of the cool kids.
3) you look stupid with bloodshot eyes.
4) it's illegal, and if you get caught you're actually in trouble.
5) if your parents ever found out they'd be pissed.

similarly, there are much better reasons not to drink too much than the idiot ones we hear in high school. after all, what sixteen-year-old is really that concerned about his liver? The real reasons it’s bad to drink are:

1) again, lots of calories in alcohol and you'll get fat.
2) beer goggles.
3) puke is gross.

any questions?




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update: due to popular demand, i have removed the somewhat nsfw cannabis leaf from this post. in fairness, i couldn't really read my own blog at work with that shit up there. if you want to see it, do a google image search for "pot leaf", if you're not already too baked to care.