they put a vending machine in our pantry at work. this is terrible news. not just because i enjoy being mad about everything, but because i also have zero self-discipline. (i'm really the kind of gal you want to take home to mom)until today, the only thing stopping me from ballooning up to 800 pounds was sheer laziness. i love food - and i loooooooooooove high-calorie junk food - but getting it from the position of sitting at my desk was just too much work for me. so i stuck to coffee, diet coke (from the preexisting soda vending machine, of which i approve, for the record), and the lunches and snacks i brought from home (where junk food is relatively scarce, as i am also a fabulous cook - in case you wanted to know) - or often purchased in the relatively health-conscious corporate cafeteria.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, all my good intentions went to hell in a handbasket today when i strutted into the pantry for my daily fix of artificial sweeteners and was sucked toward a black hole that wasn't there yesterday. there is
a SNACK MACHINE.
it has
CHEEZ-ITS.
and not just any cheez-its; no, this is a super-sized 3-ounce package. the nutrition label says it has 2.5 servings.
are they implying that i should be buying this bag, eating 40% of it, and tucking the rest away in my paper clip drawer until i should next feel the twinge of snacktime approaching? in the immortal words of cher in clueless (a.k.a. one of the best films ever made, for the record), "um, i don't think so!"
so what's for dinner?
2 comments:
Props for the shout out to The Littles, those creepy monkey tailed Borrower-wannabes whose books I read because really, what do you do when you've finished all the Borrowers?
Also, girls without self-discipline are the ones you bring home to mom?
if you can't detect my sarcasm by now... you will never never never know me. wooooooooo hoooooooo.
Post a Comment