putting the "church" back in "church and state"

isn't it weird that the start of the "official" christmas season is marked by thanksgiving? i mean, thanksgiving is when we (supposedly) celebrate the pilgrims and that they laid the foundation for the united states. you know, the people who were fleeing religious persecution when they came here, who wanted a place where people could have the freedom to practice whatever religion they chose, where church and state could be completely separate entities, where religion would be an entirely private issue.

those wacky pilgrims.

i mean, what the hell did they know? they didn't even have tivo back then. and i heard that they shat in a hole in the ground. gross.

so now, according to rumors i'm hearing around the water cooler, the evil corporate giants are trying to take christmas out of the public life. just check out the horrifying news that the super-awesome, not-at-all-terrifying, completely-normal American Family Association discovered: the diabolical powers over at target refuse to build their seasonal marketing campaign around christmas. see how evil they are:

Target doesn't want to offend a small minority who oppose Christmas. But they don't mind offending Christians who celebrate the birth of Christ, the Reason for the season.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh... so jesus is the Reason for the Season. my evil, secular middle school science teacher tried to convince me that the season happens because the earth rotates on an axis that is slightly tilted. now i know better.

i've always said target was up to no good. i mean, just look at the awful propaganda they have on their own site:

From national partnerships to local initiatives to our own programs, Target is committed to making our communities better places to live. And so we support the arts by sponsoring free attendance days, encourage our team members to volunteer and donate generously to charities, and have created initiatives that make a profound impact, including Take Charge of Education®, which has raised more than $150 million for schools since 1997. Or Start Something®, our partnership with the Tiger Woods Foundation that helps kids build character as they identify and achieve their dreams. From the beginning, Target Corporation has given 5% of pretax profits to good causes; today we’re giving back over $2 million a week to education, the arts and social services.

yeah, target, that's great, but if you don't accept christ into your lives and stores, you know you're going to hell.

the best part of this whole campaign is bill o'reilly's incoherent babble:

As I said in my newspaper column this week: Three wise men, one showed up to honor the Baby Jesus way back when. And if corporate executives are not wise enough to emulate that, well, those of us who respect Christmas might look elsewhere.

sheesh, can you believe those corporate assholes who don't think of themselves as modern agents of the three wise men? you tell 'em, bill. and keep an eye on your loofah.

last but not least, you should really read this op-ed in the times about why all these scary evangelists are retarded.