this whole "pardon a turkey" thing has always seemed really twisted to me. i mean, first of all, yeah, capital punishment is a hoot, and it's awfully cute that they pretend this turkey is really a death row inmate. they should take it a step further, you know, lock him up, occasionally beat and sodomize him for a few days before the pardon actually happens, just for an added sense of reality. then, when the pardon comes, huzzah! he's free! he'll never be able to get a job again and will probably live a life of poverty until he is driven back to his criminal ways, but, c'est la vie with the american justice system. i wonder if death row inmates find it as hilarious as the rest of us.second of all, i think we are all aware that this turkey hasn't actually done anything. was his crime, like that of so many others, being too poor to afford effective assistance of counsel? awwww... this little pageant gets cuter by the minute. by pardoning someone (ok, something, if you prefer) that hasn't actually committed a crime, aren't you really just reminding us that we kill the rest of the beasts purely out of our own cruelty (and their deliciousness)? thanks, american government, for that. my turkey will taste that much better this thursday. i have often wondered whether this tradition was actually started by a vegan with an agenda, someone who wanted to make us all realize that eating meat is cruel but who underestimated our bloodthirstiness.
which is not to say that i won't be having my share of meaty deliciousness this week. i'm already saving room for mom's famous stuffing. mmmmmmmmmmm........
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