we're really very mature

aol has added these "bots" to instant messenger. "shoppingbuddy" supposedly helps you shop, while "moviefone" helps you find out information about movies. the wife and i - grownups that we are - entertained ourselves for hours with these things:

me: hey there, asshole
ShoppingBuddy: Welcome. Now you can search for products with AOLShopping. Type main to get started. To read our privacy policy, type privacy anytime.

me: sex
ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy: I didn't find any good matches 4 U but may I ask you a question?

me: yes
ShoppingBuddy: Want to give a gift they'll really remember?

me: help me shop for a good lay
ShoppingBuddy: OK. Who are you still shopping for?

me: do you have any sweet lovin'?
ShoppingBuddy: I'm shop-o-rific.

me: FUCK
ShoppingBuddy: Hey -- clean up the language and get serious. I'm happy to help but can't deal with that mouth.

me: I'M HAPPY TO LET YOU BLOW ME
ShoppingBuddy: Hey -- clean up the language and get serious. I'm happy to help but can't deal with that mouth.

me: THAT'S NOT WHAT YO MAMA SAID LAST NIGHT, BEEEEEYOTCH
ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy: - Search results for YO MAMA SAID NIGHT BEEEEEYOTCH

- Creepy Things Are Scaring Me! [$11.99]
- God Gave Us You [$7.99]
- Butterflies Of The Night [$13.95 - $17.95]
- Esta Noche Cuando Mama Regrese a [$5.61 - $7.99]
- Mama Sale Esta Noche/Mom's Night [$7.01 - $10.95]

the wife had a good time too:

wife: ya fuckin' haaahd on
ShoppingBuddy: Mm hm, now we are getting somwhere.

wife: i'm looking for some sweet, sweet lovin'
ShoppingBuddy: I'm shop-o-rific.

it also gave me some excellent leads for crotchless panties.